6th April, 2025

 Can you believe its April?

I skipped a whole month. Mainly because nothing interesting has happened.

BUT...

I have a few things to look forward to this year. 

Bali and Japan!

We had been planning for the Japan trip since last year but Bali was pretty recent and its just going to be me and my partner.

I am actually more excited for Bali than Japan. Maybe because its my first big girl trip? I mean of course I came to Australia but Bali is my first big girl trip, with my adult money, with my partner. 

Sometimes, when I think about the future, there is so much to do. And during those moments I feel like I have not achieved anything.

During moments like this, when I look back, I see so many achievements. Some personal, some tangibles. 

I am excited to plan the trip, decide my outfit and vlog! Woohoo!

I'll see you guys soon!

28th February, 2025

 Dear fellow readers,

I am happy to announce that I have officially graduated with my master's degree. I should be excited and looking forward to a stable and bright future, however, I have never felt so lost in my life. Hence why, I have been apprehensive to write this post. I never really know what to write, or feel in this matter. 

Yes, I have graduated but now, what next?

Question marks, question marks. Decisions, decisions. 

I truly find no joy with my current occupation. I feel like my life has become extremely monotonous, which I have always dreaded. There is no excitement. I do not look forward to going to work, I absolutely dread it. I never imagined a life like this at 25; uncertain, unstable and monotonous. 

I mean, yes, I am financially doing okay/stable. I am not homeless, I have a roof over my head, basic necessities all being fulfilled, I can send money at home to my parents, I can buy things I actually would like to buy, well except for a house (obviously, in this market pft) and a nice car. But, the question is, is that everything there is to life? Money? 

I very well know, I might get different answers from different people at different situations at this stage. I do not want to invalidate or sound like a brat that I earn money, and I still complain. As people say money does not buy you happiness. 

Now, listen to my theory about this. You either have to have a shit load of money or be dirt poor to realize money, in-fact, gives you happiness. You are not rich enough to pursue your hobbies that requires ton of money and you are not poor enough to well, not be able to buy basic needs. Controversial, I realize that.

Anyway, I do not know why I ranted about money. 

Coming back to the main subject; I am clueless. I do not know what to pursue, for my career. I do not want to work my whole life in the field that I'm working because I am already so miserable. It is actually mentally draining me. 

You all are probably tired of me always ranting here and not actually doing something about it. Well, I am going to probably get a certificate course and work somewhere I don't know. I don't want to write something here and not be able to pursue it later because there is always change of plans. 

Everyone says I need to go 'soul searching'. HOW? WHERE DO I START?

Have I told you that I actually enjoy writing? I have been so out of touch. My creative side of the brain is probably molding away without use. I want to start writing. My dream, as a kid, was to become an author. I have always loved literature. Maybe, I should start on that first. What do you think?

Anyway, let me know if anyone knows how to soul search because I am effing lost. 

Thank you for coming here and reading my thoughts (you creep, jk hehe). If anyone is even here... 

Goodnight x

21 January, 2025

Dear fellow readers,

I've got some news. 

The 3 jobs I told you about?...yeah... one of them didn't work out so I had to quit one.

The other job is sort of pissing me off too considering how rude they are being right now.

Still love my old job though. Keeping it~

I have re-applied for my previous job which I was doing before my visa restriction started. Hopefully they will hire me. Once I get hired, I'm quitting the other job because RUDE!

Anyway, my graduation day is coming in soon and I have a lot to prepare:

-get my eyelashes done

-get my graduation regalia

-figure out how to do my hair

-photoshoot...?

I'm so excited for it. This is my first convocation. The last one I couldn't attend due to covid. 

Anyway, your girl did it hehe :))

I'm so tired, had a long shift.

Can't think of anything to write.

Maybe I'll come back soon and update more stuffs when I remember.

Goodnight x

13 January, 2025

Dear fellow readers,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I haven't updated in so long --_--'

It is currently 1:55am where I live, and I had this urge to write something on a blog I worked so hard to create and bring into existence. 

I have an important orientation tomorrow for my new job at 7am and I am still awake so good luck to me tomorrow. 

Did I tell you I have 3 jobs now? If I haven't now you know. I just wanted to work 2 jobs but got 3 by accident? Anyway, I will see how it goes and if it is too much, I can always quit one. Definitely no pressure guys. (crying gif) Couldn't care less to add a gif right now haha

Anyway, what did you guys do for Christmas and new year's? Mine was pretty boring. Had a ton of plans but each of them got cancelled so... that was fun :/ BUT I did get to set up the Christmas tree, and might I add, my FIRST Christmas tree! it was quite fun. 

Other than that, I have been very consistent with gym, and I actually quite enjoy going to gym now! I have lost 6 kilos since the last time I checked my weight which is ideal but I still haven't lost my belly pooch so it must be my diet :(( I will try to maintain a healthy diet from now on. TRY. 

I think, mentally, I am in a better place compared to last time. Of course, there are days where I have my outburst of not feeling enough, not doing enough, not being given enough, its never enough. But, I think, for now, I am actually doing quite well.

Oh wait! Something amazing and exciting has been happening in my life recently and I couldn't have been more grateful for it. First of all, thank you universe for the abundance!

THE BIG NEWS:

dun Dun DUN!!!

I have been receiving offers for collabs through my TikTok videos! How exciting is that? 

I cannot believe this is real!

So far, I have received glasses, skincare and clothing! I have more skincare and some contact lenses coming through. I actually want to make more outfit videos as that's where my passion lies but WOW, I am so grateful for this abundance and opportunity. Thank you thank you thank you!

Alright, I better go to sleep soon if I want to get *checks time* at least 4 hours of sleep considering its already 2am now. 

P.S I added a message box if any of you is ever reading my diary entries, feel free to leave a message! I would love to read them. Know that I love you all and thank you for taking your time to read through my very-close-to-heart entries <3

23 November, 2024

Dear fellow readers,

Been MIA again!

How have you all been? Well, if you ask me, I have been busy and also not so busy. I guess you can say I have been a little lazy to update my blog...technically, my online diary. 

See, this is what I mean when I said I will buy a nice journal, and I will update it for a few days and forget about it. Literally what happened here. But I have put up the dashboard on my desktop now so I can feel guilty about not updating it every time I see it here hehe. 

Anyway, I'll update where I left off. 

So, of course we went for the royal visit. It was such an overwhelming experience. Seeing so many fellow Bhutanese altogether, my patriotism towards my country came alive if I say so myself. :P  Seeing the royal family was definitely not on my bucket list this year but you know what? I'll take it. :))

Other than that, honestly, I have no idea what I've been doing. The weeks are passing in a blur. I have been constantly going to gym, which is great because I can definitely see the progress. 

...

Had to take a pause there. Don't think anything eventful has happened. Probably why I have not been updating my blog. 

Well, I have been constantly filming YouTube videos and uploading them. Slowly making progress on that as well. My TikTok account has finally got over 500 followers allowing me to go live but I am bummed because no one can send me gift due to regional issues. I CANNOT CHANGE MY REGION and TikTok support is of no help. AHHHH  so frustrating.

But I made a new account. Well, IDK how long its going to take to grow that one now... SIGH

Anyway, I am excited and looking forward for Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year (as they say) and I get to do shopping! You know how much I loooove shopping haha.

Anyway, thats it from me for today. I will try to update you soon I promise x. Although, I doubt anyone other than myself is reading my blog posts haha. Maybe I should update a chatbox widget of people can leave me a message x. 

Goodnight! x

16 October, 2024

 Dear fellow readers,

It has been a while. I have been absolutely busy. 

I have been trying to find a second job which has been an absolute nightmare. I have no idea how many applications I have applied for. 

I am also in a great dilemma, for myself atleast. The thing is, this new position at work came up which is basically an upgrade or upskill of what I am doing right now. If you know me, I am absolutely driven. I do not like my life being monotonous. I always want to challenge myself. I am always in my "What next?" mode.

Anyway, coming back to my point, I want to apply for it. BUT my dilemma is regarding the financial factor. It is obvious that if I have a second job, I am gonna be able to earn and save more but that also means, I cannot upskill my profession. But if I take that full time job, I will not be able to work a second job meaning, it all comes down to my earnings. What decision will I make? What to choose?

Also, I am very well aware that me getting that full time situation is uncertain at the moment and I am getting ahead of myself but I always like to plan and organize my life two steps ahead :P

I have a toxic relationship with this image. I completely understand this image however my worries and concerns engulfs everything in and out of my control haha. 

Other than my life rant, I have other things to update.

HM the King of Bhutan is here with his family to visit the Bhutanese residents living in Australia.

I was lucky enough to be able to register for the royal audience which is basically happening today since it is already 16th October. It is currently 12:35am right now. I should be sleeping soon since I do have to get up early. Also thinking of filming a GRWM video of how I get dressed in my national dress which is rare. 

Anyway, I should probably try and sleep now although I am a little hungry .

Goodnight x.

28 September, 2024

Dear fellow readers,

I finally made my YouTube channel! 

Link will be in my 'socials' tab as well. I have already uploaded my first video and waiting to publish my second one. So excited!

Nothing new recently. Hence, why I haven't updated. 

I am going to a cafe tomorrow. Probably going to film it for my YouTube hehe 

Will probably update some pictures for my blog as well. Will let you know how it goes. 

See you next time x :)

22 September, 2024

Dear fellow readers,

Had the worst day at work today. I know I have been MIA for a few days. It has been really hectic if I am being honest with y'all.

I think I have finally finished moving out of my previous house. The agent said that the house needed to be cleaned professionally which we did. It cost us around $600 aud. Not to mention the rest of the bills that keeps pouring in. They said we have to clean the bins. Went over in the evening last Friday and cleaned it.

Gosh... just remembered I need to change my DoT address. Ughhhh will do it tomorrow -_-

I am completely drained. 

Now, let me tell you why I had the worst day at work today. I went into work today thinking I'm not working in dementia wing today (I work in an aged care btw). But turns out my roster manager switched me to dementia wing, didn't even think to inform me (thanks!) and when I reached there, they were like, "Oh you are not in this wing today. You are in dementia wing." In my head I am thinking, "Uhhh not again." 

Lets be real. I have 9 shifts and 8 of them are in dementia. It is mentally and physically exhausting having to look after 33 residents with just 4 staffs and their behaviors are through the roof most days. And by that, I mean fighting, hitting, arguing, shouting, screaming etc. Will I be sued for writing about my work on this online page? IDK.

Anyway, I got hit in the eye. PUNCHED in the eye to be specific. I'll be lucky if it doesn't bruise. My eye throbbed in pain, I was writhing in pain. Absolutely contemplated going back home at that stage. Still have a bit of swelling on my right eyebrows and pain upon touching.

Cannot believe I still have to go to that wretched place tomorrow. Absolutely thought about calling in sick but its public holiday tomorrow. It's a good pay :(

Other than that, I tried to vlog my first video for YouTube which was a failure. I need a tripod to stand my camera on because I tried to be creative about my camera placement, but the angles were not giving. I have ordered a tripod online. Your girl is committed.

Going to vlog my first video probably a few days after the tripod arrives. Was thinking of vlogging when the King arrives, you know? If you are Bhutanese, you probably know that HM of Bhutan is arriving in Australia. Pretty sure every Bhutanese has registered for an audience. I did. So excited to wear my national dress again! 

My partner bought me a Nintendo switch so we can play some games together. So far, loving it.

I think that is pretty much it for my life update recently. Been going to the gym. Didn't go today because I was absolutely smashed. Will go tomorrow though. 

Going to bed now. Night night x 

13 September, 2024

Dear fellow readers,

Remember how I said, in my last post, that I wanted a camera? Well, lucky for me because I scored one online! I am over the moon, constantly fiddling with my new camera. For those who are wondering what I got, it's a Canon g7x mark 2. I love the color chemistry, and I am already obsessed with it. Here is a picture below for reference. 

Other than that, I also achieved something which might be a little absurd to the 'perfect drivers'. I have been driving for over a year, but I have an immense fear of driving in freeway. So today I was like, "F*ck that, let's do this." I drove in freeway, a little anxious but I made it! I went to my friend's house because it was her birthday. Got her some pink roses (she loves pink) and a small gift. We went to carousel after, did some shopping, grabbed lunch and headed back home.  

Filmed a mini vlog because I was obviously, very excited to use my camera! :P 

Also took some food pictures but really, this is the best one I got.

The place is called Super Tetsudo. Located in various locations but this one was in Westfield Carousel. Love going there. Love the food. Love the tech over there. It was, surprisingly, my friend's first time there! I had to take her. Although, she was not a big fan of sea food. 

Later in the evening, I did end up going with my partner and some of our friends to Shisha. Had a good talk. Always a lovely time with them. 

Did not take my camera there because it is a bit of a dodgy area. 

Anyway, I would think this day was a 10/10. Absolutely loved everything about my day today. 

07 September, 2024

Dear fellow readers,

I remembered this one night, when I was 19 years old, I was in India pursuing my bachelor's degree and it was vacation. Me and my roommates decided to go back to Bhutan to spend some time with our family. We did miss home terribly, more than that, we missed the home-made food. Anyway, I decided to take charge of the bus tickets that would take us from our uni in Punjab to Delhi International Airport. We usually would board the night bus and reach Delhi by morning. Like usual, I decided to buy the night tickets, only this time I bought it online. 

Coming from Bhutan, I had never bought travel tickets online except for flight tickets. Although this was a pretty new concept for me, I went ahead and bought the ticket for me and my two other friends. Now, when the time to leave came, we waited outside the uni gate where the bus would make its stop. There were maybe more than hundred students waiting outside the gate to get picked up by the bus. One by one, 7-10 students started getting picked up. Our bus was supposed to come at 12am. As time went by and more busses came and went by, the number of students started to decrease and there were only a handful of us left. 

Internally, I felt insecure, insecure at the lack of my knowledge and quickly self-blamed myself. "Maybe I did not buy the right tickets? Maybe somebody scammed me out of money? Did I lose my friends money and mine? What are my friends thinking about me right now? They must be regretting giving me their money to buy their tickets. They must be thinking, if only they had bought their own tickets. This is all my fault." I could not help but apologize to them, but they were quick to comfort me saying that it was not my fault, and nobody was blaming me and that I shouldn't think like that. The self-blame ate me away though. No longer had I apologized, our bus came at around 3am. It turns out the bus just had a mechanical issue and was delayed. 

The reason I just remembered this is, when I was showering today, I had these sudden thoughts that I haven't self-blamed myself in such a long time. Not saying that this is a bad thing. This is definitely a progress and character build-up for me. Maybe I just started realizing that everything happens for a reason and not everything is my fault. The bus getting delayed was out of my control, it was not my fault. My thought processes have definitely changed, for the better obviously. Maybe if people compared me with 19 year old me and 25 year old me now, they would definitely see most similarities but also vast changes. 

I believe "Life happened" to me and I'm not complaining. :)